Wednesday, February 15, 2012

Space Puppets and Thongotards





My youngest brother and I were born so far apart (15 years) that we're basically in different generations. I was born in 1983 and he was born in 1998.

On a trip to Disney World last summer, we caught the re-released 80s classic "Captain EO." If you're not familiar, "Captain EO" is a 4-D movie executive produced by George Lucas, directed by Francis Ford Coppola and starring Michael Jackson. (That sentence was sooooooo 80s.)

MJ stars as the titular Captain who is the leader of a rag tag group of Space Muppets. They go to some dark planet and save it from an evil queen through the power of pop music and dancing...seriously.


Behold.

Needless to say, I found it to be fantastic and bought the t-shirt. My brother had a slightly different reaction, which I'll call something like confused horror.

"What was that?" asked he.
"That...was the 80s," I replied.

The 80s has garnered a reputation for being, in retrospect, ridiculous, and rightfully so. However, the fact that fashion and other elements (such as 'Captain EO') keep creeping back into our society.

And now a word on 80s fashion. That word...is thongotard.

As a youngling, my mother and I would often put on the VCR and do "Jane Fonda's New Workout." A classic of spandex, hair spray and parquet floors, this tape played a big part in my early exercise career. It probably explains my current love of Zumba.


This was my favorite part. To be honest, this kind of gives me flashback chills.


I, myself, owned a belted leotard with legwarmers before I had hair. There was always something about this video, though, that would leave young me in that state of confused horror.


Look closely.

Yes, the woman with the butch blond hair and the leopard leggings was sporting something that, when I caught a glimpse, baffled me. 80s workout culture spawned what remains as one of the most ridiculous, useless fashions ever to give someone a wedgie...the thongotard.

To wit:


The fact that you can still buy these at American Apparel is a testament to our undying love of the 80s.

I guess, in the end, what I'm saying is that while looking back we can chuckle at how ridiculous things were in another era, at the time they seemed perfectly normal and cool, except to the unfettered mind of a child. To quote the late Whitney (another 80s staple) "The children are our future." And maybe, just maybe, if we listen, they can help us be less ridiculous in our present.

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