This Is What a Feminist Looks Like

As a girl who played the saxophone, I'm what a feminist looks like.

Feminist Rapper Episode 3: This Is What A Feminist Looks Like - watch more funny videos

Motherf---ing Surprise Gospel Choirs!

If you know me really well, you know that there is one magical thing that I love more than anything in the world. That one thing is a surprise gospel choir.

An excellent example of this is the wedding scene in "Love Actually."

It includes instruments, but I will allow it in the awesome category.

One of the best concerts I ever went to was Michael Buble performing a The Fabulous Fox Theatre in Atlanta. For his encore, he sang "That's Life" with a full, suprise gospel choir. I was moved. Moved.

When I get married, I fully intend to end the ceremony with a surprise gospel choir. It will happen, people.

What gets me on this subject? That would be a recent ad for the upcoming season of professional football, of all things. There is a commercial that has been played recently in Atlanta. It fills me with almost as much joy as the Old Spice guy commercials.

What could possibly get near the pleasure of a handsome, suave, shirtless man trying to sell me men's body wash? Samuel. L. Jackson. AND (pause for effect) a gospel choir. Yes, folks, the coolest Motherf---ing dude in the history of film and a be-robed hoarde of joyful noise makers. I'm in heaven (where I'm sure there is an awesome gospel choir).

So, Apparently I Suck at Blogging

I have been so busy with my new job, I haven't been a very good blogger. Please accept my apology in the form of a meme.

Books to the Sky

Books to the ceiling,
Books to the sky,
My pile of books is a mile high.
How I love them! How I need them!
I'll have a long beard by the time I read them.

- Arnold Lobel

I have a confession to make. I love books. More specifically, buying books. I love the idea of what is in it. I love the smell of new books. I love how it always mixes in my sensory memory with the aroma of coffee. "Jen," you may say, "There's nothing wrong with that."

Here's what's wrong with that. I have every intention of reading the books that I buy...as soon as I finish the book that I'm reading now. However, when I finish that book, I may be in the mood to read something else. Long story short, I have stacks, stacks (!) of unread books.

Today, I have made a vow. A solemn vow that I intend to keep. I will not buy any more books until I finish all of the unread books that I currently possess. In order to keep that promise, I'm going to list them right here until I finish them all.

1. Sex, Drugs and Cocoa Puffs by Chuck Klosterman
2. Abraham Lincoln, Vampire Hunter by Seth Grahame Smith
3. The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo by Stieg Larsson
4. The Girl who Played with Fire by Stied Larsson
5. Slaughterhouse Five by Kurt Vonnegut
6. About a Boy by Nick Hornby
7. Love is a Mix Tape by Rob Sheffield
8. The Road by Cormac McCarthy
9. Dress Your Family in Corduroy and Denim by David Sedaris
10. Always Looking Up by Michael J. Fox
11. I Like You by Amy Sedaris
12. When You Are Engulfed in Flames by David Sedaris
13. The Alexandria Link by Steve Berry*
14. Born Standing Up by Steve Martin*

* These are actually books I borrowed and haven't read yet, so they're going on the list.

Folks, I'm going to read 'em all. And then I'm going to get a library card and make my own coffee.

Barbecue is Not a Grill

It's the time of year where we all get the hankering to cook and (inexplicably) eat outdoors. Smokey meats doused in sticky sauce start to call our name. Ladies and Gentlemen, it's Barbecue

Season.

Now there's food cooked on a grill, and then there's Barbecue. For the unindoctrinated and the yankees, here's a charming musical primer on Southern Barbecue:

See more funny videos and funny pictures at CollegeHumor.

Now, there's a lot of barbecue out there, but there's a limited supply of good barbecue. There are some simple rules to help you find the tastiest shredded meat in your area:

1. Word of mouth. Find someone who knows what they're talking about and get a barbecue recommendation. It may take several tries and much experimenting.
2. Look at the cook. As a general rule, the best barbecue is cooked by big good-ole-boys and served by sarcastic, gum chomping women with frizzy hair. If the staff doesn't resemble this, you may be in trouble.
3. Sides. Check the menu before you order. If it doesn't include mac n' cheese, brunswick stew, baked beans and banana pudding, leave right now.
4. Sauce. The best places will have a variety of sauces, from vinegar-based to tomato-based to mustard-based to spicy. If they only have one, it had better be a signature sauce, like Maurice's.
5. Sketchy appearance. It may seem counter-intuitive, but the best barbecue places look like condemned barns with clouds of smoke coming out of them. If the place you're at is shiny and well-lit, give up now.

You can also make barbecue at home. It's great for parties or outdoor events. Not too long ago, I made some that was quite delicious, if a little dry. I roasted a pork butt in the oven and then pulled it and put it in a crock pot with bbq sauce and the drippings. Before roasting, I rubbed it with paprika, salt, pepper and garlic powder on a dijon mustard base. For sauce, I used Williamson Brothers' sauce.

Yummmmmmm.

The Beatles Will Never Die

What is it about The Beatles that is so pervasive? This weekend got me thinking about it after sitting in the scorching South Carolina sun to watch a tribute band.

Somehow, a 4 man band from Liverpool has managed to achieve what so few have in the history of pop culture: eternal, untouchable coolness.

When I was in high school, my best friend and I would drive home every day singing along (with assigned harmonization) to One, a compilation album of The Beatles' #1 hits. We were really good, particularly on "Eight Days a Week."

My 12 year-old brother has recently become a huge Beatles fan after I suggested that he learn "Let It Be" for a piano recital. Now the Fab Four take up his iPod. He listens to them every night. Yesterday he referenced "Everybody's Got Something to Hide Except Me and My Monkey" while we were watching Indiana Jones. Tonight, I heard him singing "When I'm 64" in the shower.

What the heck is going on here? How does a kid that was born in 1998 get so much enjoyment out of a musical group that broke up in 1970?

Somehow, some way, The Beatles are timeless. I once chided a roommate when she told me that she stopped listening to their music after a bad break-up, because they were her boyfriend's favorite band. Infuriated, I told her, "The Beatles are bigger than love!" What a strange sentiment, but it doesn't feel false.

Now, I'm not going to analyze why The Beatles are important musically. There are 33 million Google entries that could probably do a better job of that. I'm sure it's pretty apparent that The Beatles made largely accessible, evolving, innovative music. It's not surprising that people still love it. What is amazing about The Beatles is the collective decision that we made, consciously or not, that they were impeachably cool for all eternity.

Now certainly, the death of John Lennon played a role in this. The best thing you can do for your career in entertainment is die young and unexpectedly. However, Paul McCartney lived on, as did Ringo and George, for the time being. The heart was dead, but the soul lived on.

I think, in the end, it's a combination of factors, beginning with an insane rise to fame (what would be called Bieberesque today), an unprecedented consistency of artistic relevancy, a break-up that left the world wanting more, a villain to blame in Yoko, and finally a tragic death.

Somehow, this all led to The Beatles taking #1 on everybody's all-time lists of everything great. Seriously, have you ever met anyone who would admit to not liking The Beatles. All I know is that, even when we've lost Paul and Ringo, even when the music is 100 years old, people will still love it and listen to it.

All you need is love, and The Beatles are bigger than love.

Things I Know

So, I figure that a blog is a great place to share lessons that I have learned in life, for the benefit of others. I may be young still, but there are a few important things that I have learned so far, and that I live by:

1. You can NEVER pack enough underwear.
2. There is always a spider in the pool noodle.
3. Sunscreen.
4. The finale of your favorite TV show will be at least mildly disappointing.
5. Everything tastes better out of a glass.
6. The price-fixers on movies and gasoline are in a competition to see who can make their product so expensive that we will stop buying it. We never will.
7. Just unplug it and plug it back in.
8. The irate customer gets the free month of service.
9. Always carry band-aids, chapstick and hair ties.
10. There's no such thing as a free umbrella.

Funemployment

I think Steve's experience sums up well the realities of modern unemployment...set to song!

Speaking of Milk and Beer...

http://www.japanprobe.com/2007/01/31/milk-beer-bilk/

A Blog is Born from the Womb of Boredom

Milk and Beer. Things that don't go together at all, yet both are equally essential to life. You wouldn't put beer on your cereal. You wouldn't drink milk with your pizza (okay, I do, but people think I'm crazy). Let me rephrase, you wouldn't drink milk at a baseball game. I guess my point is, life is about knowing which one to drink and when. Choose wisely.

I decided to start a blog. I'll do my best to keep it from being self-absorbed and boring. People seem to like the things that I find on the internets, so I want a more efficient way to share than just posting to Facebook.

The Land of Milk & Beer. Tell your friends.